Stay at Home Moms, how to stay sane with a crying baby

It is certainly not easy to be around with a crying baby, let alone to stay sane! However, you are not alone. All mothers have been through this and once the baby smiles to you, you will immediately forget all what this little thing made you go through.

It is important for new mothers to receive as much information as possible about the needs of babies and to try their best to satisfy them. It is simply because the baby can not signal what it needs except by crying and the more you satisfy it, the better you feel at ease. So let me pose a question. Why do babies cry?

It is usually because they are feeling hungry, cold or warm, feeling pain or having a fever.

If you satisfy all these needs and it still cries, then it is probably feeling bored and needs your company. You have to realize that babies need a lot of love and care. Holding the baby between your arms can make it stop screaming. I am not saying that you make this a habit. Try to be balanced and judge when you carry the baby and swing it. There is another fact that new mothers have to be aware of. New born babies need swinging as they were feeling secure in your womb by being swung with your movements.

So if the baby keeps on screaming and you started feeling that you are loosing your temper, just collect yourself together and stay calm. I know it is difficult to be calm with a screaming baby around. But you love your baby, don’t you? So do not listen to this crying. Just follow Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in controling your anger. Say Ta'awwuz “ I SEEK ALLAH'S PROTECTION FROM THE CURSED DEVIL", then do Wudu (Abulution ) or drink water and change your position. So if you are standing sit, or lie down. I would recommend to change your clothes, take the baby stroller down to the street and put the baby inside it and go with it for a walk. This will do both of you good. You will both breathe fresh air and you will get the chance to control your nerves by just doing something else as only thinking of how to keep the crying baby silent. The noise in the street and the swinging will help it stop crying and it will probably feel sleepy.

My advise to you is never refuse help from others. You probably stay nights awake which drives you crazy. So if another member of your family or from your husband’s family offered you help, accept it immediately with a smiling face. This will help relief some of your nervousness.

I would like to share with you a very good trick that I used with my new born daughter to help her sleep at night, well for some hours. Hopefully it will be also helpful to you. I used to take her in the stroller every evening and go out with her. The fresh air and the swinging made her feel sleepy. This was followed by a shower (every other day), and so she was ready for bed, really tired and sleepy. You can try the shower in summer time otherwise I recommend only the stroller choice.

My last advise to you is to learn to control your nerves when your baby drives you crazy with its crying. Children are a blessing from Allah and we have to take care of them. So don’t forget that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that anger is from the devil and that the powerful is the one who controls himself when angry.

I am grateful !

"O Allah, whatever favours You have bestowed upon me and all other creations is only from you. You are One, You have no partners. Praise and Shukr (thanks) be to You".

It took her some time to think what she can write on this topic. This does not mean that she doesn’t realize the blessings of Allah in her and around her. She is so grateful to Allah for being healthy, for having a lovely family, and an adorable daughter. She feels so blessed that she is Egyptian and that Allah has made her witness the wake of her people against corruption.
It is just that today Salma realized that there is something more precious in her life that she must be grateful for after a discussion she had with her European friend.

It is so. This friend is blaming her all the time for being pregnant while her daughter is only two years old. She finds this a big drawback in Salma's life, a threaten to her career and is an introduction to financial problems. That's why she did not congratulate her that she is pregnant although everybody she knows in Egypt did.

Salma accepted all that and thought these people just think differently about birth and children. She was composed all the time and tried to explain in one way or the other that having children is a blessing and to clarify that Muslims do not fear poverty when they get children as they believe in Allah's promise in Quran " We provide sustenance for you and for them" (Al-Anaam, 151) and also " We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you" (Al-Isra, 31). She also explained that children are the light of houses and they are the way to populate the earth.

Today, however this friend went a little bit too far with her after Salma's daughter has fallen down the stairs. She told her that she does not understand how she is going to deal with two children, while she can not deal with one, knowing that Salma does not have a nanny and her mother is living far away from her.
Right exactly at that point Allah has aided her with the right answer. She talked with the friend in the same logic she could understand and she realized how beautiful it is to be Muslim.
Salma explained to her that the birth rate in this European country is very low. According to the population growth rates the country has zero population growth in comparison to other Muslims in the same country who are willing to have children and that experts of demography predict a high shrinking in its population by approaching 2030. The friend was smart enough to realize what Salma was aiming at. She promptly replied in an angry tone that her country will never be a Muslim country.

Salma laughed inside her and added that it was mentioned lately that a lot of children are killed by their parents in this country. Unfortunately she does not have the exact rate of killings. One thing she knows very well and the friend also does is that three hospitals around the village have closed down the baby delivery section because nobody wants to have children. Salma concluded by saying that if the people in that country continue to refuse children either by killing them or by avoiding to give birth , then this country will inevitably be Muslim. Salma went away and just left the friend then to absorb the shock.

The discussion made Salma realize how grateful she is to Allah for being Muslim who believes in his fate and in his fair division of health and wealth. Subhan Allah there are sensitive hearts and tough hearts.
Salma thought ”Alhamdullilah I am Muslim.“

WHY!

It was just another incident in a series of events that pushed her eventually to collect her ideas, hold her pen and write down her thoughts. She never meant to criticize or condemn, just practicing simple rights of observing, reflecting and commenting. Could it really be happening? Why? and how?

- "Excuse me, what are you talking about?", speak up, clarify!

I am talking about a fellow in a car whose little toy 'beep, beep' is just a horn brought into play every second of the day to alarm and scare people here and there. Alongside, another guy whose joy is to turn on high rock 'n roll, jazz and rap. In front of both is a walker, or should I say a 'talker', whose favorite moment is to hold his mobile and talk all the time. Watch it! You are crossing the road, the lights are red! 'Who cares? God will help!'

On the other end of the street, away from the fumes of cars and the clatter and clamor of people, there was a decent looking man enjoying the company of his family in a fancy car. Unexpectedly, a swift torrent of wrappings, Pepsi tins, and remains of sandwich packs were thrown by the family from the fancy car window. That was definitely enough to reach the point of deciding to walk to the favorite park. Unfortunately to her surprise, the sight of colorful roses, trees and the beauty of greenery were replaced by a huge heap of waste.

Disappointed as she was, she ran off the street and went down to the underground to what she thought could be a better place hoping to reach her appointment on time. She was still trying to overcome the appalling scenes of untamed attitudes and atrocity to her beautiful park. She held out her hand with the money to get the ticket, when all of a sudden; a rush of people pushed her aside. Astonished, rather shocked by this wild attitude, she called out asking people politely to line up to take turns. All at once, people looked down at her wondering what this odd girl was talking about. Amazed, she was rendered speechless.

Feeling let down, she moved forward until she reached the train platform. Five minutes passed and she was still waiting. After waiting and waiting, the train finally appeared in the way. As soon as she stepped on to get into the train, legs were heard dashing the ground and a stampede of people pushed her behind. Startled, she opened her mouth in awe wondering what that was all about.

She has been witnessing outrageous attitudes the first minute her legs tread into the street. A million question popped up in her head at this moment. Why were people acting so bizarre? What happened to people’s code of conduct? Why has it gone so poor? Why have morals deteriorated? Why are they offending other people by violating their rights? Why are they encroaching on nature rendering it grimy? Why have people lost the sense of beauty inherent in every one of us? Why has the abnormal become so normal and accepted by others as if for granted?

Many whys troubled her but from now on she decided to defend her rights.