Mama and Mimi and Ramadan :-)

Tomorrow is Ramadan! I decided to share my daughter in making a Ramadan Lantern.

We got cardboard, I drew with a pencil the Ramadan Lantern on it, cut it threw and let her color it.  We both spent our time doing it and at the end I hung it on the wall and my daughter was so proud that she could do the Ramadan Lantern :-) hehe

Mimi coloring the Lantern.

 Cutting it threw..













Yahoo...its done :-) Thank you mama for helping me :-)

Home ... where is home?

I have always asked myself this question as I was living abroad away from my homeland. Is home where I was born and raised up? or is it where I am living at the time being? Is it the place where you have your beloved ones, relatives and friends? or is it the feeling of missing a certain place, or is it where you feel safe. Where is home exactly...what is it and what kind of feeling is this? I think to answer this very difficult question, one has to look at one's heart and feel what is home.

I think the definition of home is different for every person. Home for some people is a mother's hug, discussing and arguing with little siblings :-), eating the food of you country. Is home where one was raised up or is it the place where one used to play with other children. Is it the place where one carries memories for?

Some would agree with this but what about people who feel like strangers although they are at home. Could home be counted in this case as home? In dictatorship countries, people do not feel at home because they feel that their values are different from the values of their own country/country people. The balance of values is upside down. What is abnormal is normal. So if I want to speak and express my opinion I cant. I have respect for others but others don’t have respect for me. I want to do something for my country but the rulers in my country do not allow me do something for my country. People then start looking for another home may be by looking for another country to settle in. However, in the new country, it is still not home. The people look different, eat different, think different, have other values and one feels like a stranger although the balance of values is right up and what is abnormal is seen abnormal. So they go looking again for home. Is it back there home or is in the new chosen home?

Another situation of feeling stranger in your own homeland is when people around you doubt your identity. In Germany I met a lot of Turks, who are born in Germany, speak German, feel German but the people around them always doubt their German identity because of their Turkish origins. The result is that they don’t feel home neither in Germany nor in Turkey. They always told me totally bluffed, “I don't know where is home! it is not in Germany, and it is not in Turkey”. This is a very sad situation.

I asked someone, who has lived in many countries and in many places in his own country, about where he feels at home. Although he likes the city and can not imagine himself living somewhere else but for him home is the village where he was born and raised up in. He can go everywhere but at the end he feels only home back there in his village. I know a colleague who used to study abroad and was feeling all the time homesick until she got married to someone from the country where she was studying. Since then the feeling of being homesick has changed. She still loves her country, wants to be back to it but can not imagine living at her homeland without her husband. For her he is her home. What about you? Have you been through this dilemma before? Do you know where home is or you are still looking for home like me? What does your heart tell you?

Ramadan this year!

It’s a very special event and a very special month for every Muslim. It’s the month of joy for pious hearts, a chance to repent and get closer to Allah and to recharge the battery of Iman.

Ramadan is the month of gatherings. Families and friends gather at the time of maghreb to break fasting: an overwhelming feeling of joy creeps into the hearts and definitely to the thirsty mouths too. Neighbors compete to exchange dishes of the most delicious kinds of foods and sweets as a beautiful gesture of love and generosity.

Children have their joy also in this month. They go knocking on doors collecting money to buy Ramadan decorations so that the streets look ornamented with Ramadan lanterns (Fanous Ramadan). Approaching the time of maghreb, streets get full with tables of food for the needy and the poor but also for those who got caught up in the car jams in the busy and full streets of Cairo and who did not have the chance to break fasting with their families.

Now imagine with me if all these manifestations of Ramadan do no exist and you had to be this year in a place where you were the only Muslim there! How would you feel?

Salma was feeling very lonely this Ramadan. She is seemingly the only Muslim in the area where she is. With her little daughter, they make the sum of two Muslims! But really the only two Muslims in the neighborhood! No mosques, no athan – except the recorded one on her laptop- , nobody around sharing in fast-breaking, no ornamented streets or sharing delicious food, no tawareeh!
Isn’t this horrible for a Muslim?

Salma was feeling really sad not only because nobody shares with her all the beautiful moments of Ramadan, but also because of imagining how happy are her people back there home in Egypt. And she? She is just deprived of all that.

People around her are practicing the normality of everyday life. Meals are being served three times aday as usual. The bells of the nearby church are striking … nothing special around her. But inside her is this time very special. She was fasting all alone, and breaking it also all alone. Lonely was she praying taraweeh every evening in her room. Alone was she getting up at the middle of night to pray qiyamu el layl and all the time she was remembering how beautiful it was praying behind the imam in the mosque at home. Even athan, she was calling it herself quietly in her room.
It was a very tough situation for her. However, she decided to think positively about it. She thought that Allah has definitely chosen her to be the person in that place just like a white spot on a colored piece of cloth. The white spot will stand out and catch the eye. It will shine and so would she also in front of Allah. Her room, where she was reading Quran, will appear from the sky like a twinkling star.
This inspiration comforted her a lot and every time she prayed or read Quran, she imagined angels around her. So all her ebada was expressed with warmth, coming from the very depth of her heart.

It is true that Ramadan this year was a very different one for her: she is sad and lonely. However, she thought life does not always bring what one wishes. Circumstances have put her through a very tough situation. Either she makes the best out of it or she surrenders and fails. Salma has made the best out of this Ramadan and she feels really proud and strong. She is now ready for the time after Ramadan.

Stay at Home Moms, how to stay sane with a crying baby

It is certainly not easy to be around with a crying baby, let alone to stay sane! However, you are not alone. All mothers have been through this and once the baby smiles to you, you will immediately forget all what this little thing made you go through.

It is important for new mothers to receive as much information as possible about the needs of babies and to try their best to satisfy them. It is simply because the baby can not signal what it needs except by crying and the more you satisfy it, the better you feel at ease. So let me pose a question. Why do babies cry?

It is usually because they are feeling hungry, cold or warm, feeling pain or having a fever.

If you satisfy all these needs and it still cries, then it is probably feeling bored and needs your company. You have to realize that babies need a lot of love and care. Holding the baby between your arms can make it stop screaming. I am not saying that you make this a habit. Try to be balanced and judge when you carry the baby and swing it. There is another fact that new mothers have to be aware of. New born babies need swinging as they were feeling secure in your womb by being swung with your movements.

So if the baby keeps on screaming and you started feeling that you are loosing your temper, just collect yourself together and stay calm. I know it is difficult to be calm with a screaming baby around. But you love your baby, don’t you? So do not listen to this crying. Just follow Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in controling your anger. Say Ta'awwuz “ I SEEK ALLAH'S PROTECTION FROM THE CURSED DEVIL", then do Wudu (Abulution ) or drink water and change your position. So if you are standing sit, or lie down. I would recommend to change your clothes, take the baby stroller down to the street and put the baby inside it and go with it for a walk. This will do both of you good. You will both breathe fresh air and you will get the chance to control your nerves by just doing something else as only thinking of how to keep the crying baby silent. The noise in the street and the swinging will help it stop crying and it will probably feel sleepy.

My advise to you is never refuse help from others. You probably stay nights awake which drives you crazy. So if another member of your family or from your husband’s family offered you help, accept it immediately with a smiling face. This will help relief some of your nervousness.

I would like to share with you a very good trick that I used with my new born daughter to help her sleep at night, well for some hours. Hopefully it will be also helpful to you. I used to take her in the stroller every evening and go out with her. The fresh air and the swinging made her feel sleepy. This was followed by a shower (every other day), and so she was ready for bed, really tired and sleepy. You can try the shower in summer time otherwise I recommend only the stroller choice.

My last advise to you is to learn to control your nerves when your baby drives you crazy with its crying. Children are a blessing from Allah and we have to take care of them. So don’t forget that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said that anger is from the devil and that the powerful is the one who controls himself when angry.

I am grateful !

"O Allah, whatever favours You have bestowed upon me and all other creations is only from you. You are One, You have no partners. Praise and Shukr (thanks) be to You".

It took her some time to think what she can write on this topic. This does not mean that she doesn’t realize the blessings of Allah in her and around her. She is so grateful to Allah for being healthy, for having a lovely family, and an adorable daughter. She feels so blessed that she is Egyptian and that Allah has made her witness the wake of her people against corruption.
It is just that today Salma realized that there is something more precious in her life that she must be grateful for after a discussion she had with her European friend.

It is so. This friend is blaming her all the time for being pregnant while her daughter is only two years old. She finds this a big drawback in Salma's life, a threaten to her career and is an introduction to financial problems. That's why she did not congratulate her that she is pregnant although everybody she knows in Egypt did.

Salma accepted all that and thought these people just think differently about birth and children. She was composed all the time and tried to explain in one way or the other that having children is a blessing and to clarify that Muslims do not fear poverty when they get children as they believe in Allah's promise in Quran " We provide sustenance for you and for them" (Al-Anaam, 151) and also " We shall provide sustenance for them as well as for you" (Al-Isra, 31). She also explained that children are the light of houses and they are the way to populate the earth.

Today, however this friend went a little bit too far with her after Salma's daughter has fallen down the stairs. She told her that she does not understand how she is going to deal with two children, while she can not deal with one, knowing that Salma does not have a nanny and her mother is living far away from her.
Right exactly at that point Allah has aided her with the right answer. She talked with the friend in the same logic she could understand and she realized how beautiful it is to be Muslim.
Salma explained to her that the birth rate in this European country is very low. According to the population growth rates the country has zero population growth in comparison to other Muslims in the same country who are willing to have children and that experts of demography predict a high shrinking in its population by approaching 2030. The friend was smart enough to realize what Salma was aiming at. She promptly replied in an angry tone that her country will never be a Muslim country.

Salma laughed inside her and added that it was mentioned lately that a lot of children are killed by their parents in this country. Unfortunately she does not have the exact rate of killings. One thing she knows very well and the friend also does is that three hospitals around the village have closed down the baby delivery section because nobody wants to have children. Salma concluded by saying that if the people in that country continue to refuse children either by killing them or by avoiding to give birth , then this country will inevitably be Muslim. Salma went away and just left the friend then to absorb the shock.

The discussion made Salma realize how grateful she is to Allah for being Muslim who believes in his fate and in his fair division of health and wealth. Subhan Allah there are sensitive hearts and tough hearts.
Salma thought ”Alhamdullilah I am Muslim.“

WHY!

It was just another incident in a series of events that pushed her eventually to collect her ideas, hold her pen and write down her thoughts. She never meant to criticize or condemn, just practicing simple rights of observing, reflecting and commenting. Could it really be happening? Why? and how?

- "Excuse me, what are you talking about?", speak up, clarify!

I am talking about a fellow in a car whose little toy 'beep, beep' is just a horn brought into play every second of the day to alarm and scare people here and there. Alongside, another guy whose joy is to turn on high rock 'n roll, jazz and rap. In front of both is a walker, or should I say a 'talker', whose favorite moment is to hold his mobile and talk all the time. Watch it! You are crossing the road, the lights are red! 'Who cares? God will help!'

On the other end of the street, away from the fumes of cars and the clatter and clamor of people, there was a decent looking man enjoying the company of his family in a fancy car. Unexpectedly, a swift torrent of wrappings, Pepsi tins, and remains of sandwich packs were thrown by the family from the fancy car window. That was definitely enough to reach the point of deciding to walk to the favorite park. Unfortunately to her surprise, the sight of colorful roses, trees and the beauty of greenery were replaced by a huge heap of waste.

Disappointed as she was, she ran off the street and went down to the underground to what she thought could be a better place hoping to reach her appointment on time. She was still trying to overcome the appalling scenes of untamed attitudes and atrocity to her beautiful park. She held out her hand with the money to get the ticket, when all of a sudden; a rush of people pushed her aside. Astonished, rather shocked by this wild attitude, she called out asking people politely to line up to take turns. All at once, people looked down at her wondering what this odd girl was talking about. Amazed, she was rendered speechless.

Feeling let down, she moved forward until she reached the train platform. Five minutes passed and she was still waiting. After waiting and waiting, the train finally appeared in the way. As soon as she stepped on to get into the train, legs were heard dashing the ground and a stampede of people pushed her behind. Startled, she opened her mouth in awe wondering what that was all about.

She has been witnessing outrageous attitudes the first minute her legs tread into the street. A million question popped up in her head at this moment. Why were people acting so bizarre? What happened to people’s code of conduct? Why has it gone so poor? Why have morals deteriorated? Why are they offending other people by violating their rights? Why are they encroaching on nature rendering it grimy? Why have people lost the sense of beauty inherent in every one of us? Why has the abnormal become so normal and accepted by others as if for granted?

Many whys troubled her but from now on she decided to defend her rights.